Why I can't contorl myself ?

Haiz..keep feel down and depresee this few days..coz I can't control my own appetize...keep want to eat something....then feel the fat that I lose come back to me again...ah~~~~~~~~very sianz~~~~~I dun know why I am so useless?? Why i am so stupid....fuck....why I just can't control myself ?? If keep going like that, when can I become slim ?

Ah~~~if god can listen my voice here....please come and save me....I nearly die liao....I really start dun like myself as day goes by....dun like to see mirror...looks myself at the mirror....a big face...not handsome...then got a funny mole...sometimes I will consolate myself...at least I am quite cute (chealt mysefl)....but my college tell me cute means that UGLY but adorable.....I dun want be ugly....haiz..why my life is so sad ?? Everyday come to a company that I dun really like...sianz...

Luckily, I still got family and friends who are really care for me....I am really appreciate that....after get the news that Xu Wei Lun die suddenly in the accident, I learnt that we need to cherish and treasure what we have currently...dun regret till you lose it one day....

But why I just can't tell myself like that and make me keep it up for my slim & fit plan.....haiz...so sad....just hope I can jia you....Ah~~~~~~~~~~