Body Aching ~~~ Pointless fatty

Wah~~~ I feel terrible since last night....I can't sleep last night...keep wake up in the midnight...dun know why...the doctor cheat me...he told me if i want to sleep deeper then do more excercise will do it...but now...waliu man!! And I think maybe this few days I do too much excercise liao and exceed my body limit...so cause all the sequences...haiz..

Then what I feel dissapointed and sad...is the comments that my friend told me....I am doing one hours excercise by using the some called "cardios" machine and endure for one hour....then he told me I am doing nothing....I feel down coz this is my best record already..in the past..I just doing 20 min +- only....then like I put a lot effort and happy for it...then want to share with ym friens..but unexpected one of them will just spill the cold the water from my head... =.="

But I am not angry lar~~~coz during the time tht we back to home by bus...he told me some more knowledge about the excercise..I can tell tht what he told me is right....what I did is not enough....all due to I am FAT!!! I hate fat.......I dun want to be a fatty anymore.....always called fatty, bui gia etc by other ppl....very upsect for tht.....don't they think I like to call fat by other ppl ?? I also hate myself be a fatty....sometimes even in my dream, I still had the nightmare related to fat and wake up in the mid....who can undersand what I really feel~~~ everytime see all my firends all are slim or standard..I am so envious and feel want to hide myself.....but I just hard to control myself...I love to eat...this is the reason tht cause me fat....but I don knoe how to control my good appetize.....I love to eat whenever I feel happy or sad or stress....I think maybe I am just wat my friend comment on me...POINTLESS (wu yao ke jiu) anymore.....I will not slim down de...haiz....so sad... :'(

But I will keep trying...coz I still want to slim down...even I know maybe it is just a dream for me??